The one reason most people never step into their awesomeness is that their fear is too strong. I can relate. Nothing brings fear to the fore quite like doing a dive only 4 other people have done before (and have died doing). In fact, my strongest memory growing up is the constant presence of fear. Apparently Courage is the antidote, only where do you find it ?
I find myself waiting to feel courageous – which is an exercise in futility. The only thing I ever feel is the Fear, until it is over and then there is just relief or delight, but never courage. Which has gotten me wondering, is courage not a feeling at all ? Have I been spending my entire life waiting for this feeling of courage to arrive so I can get past my fear – waiting in vain ?
So then what is courage ? Because people tell me I have courage all the time and the only thing I am feeling is fear. What if courage is action ?
If courage isn’t a feeling but a doing, an action then things make more sense (for me at least). It would explain why I am still petrified but getting on with things.
“Courage is getting on with it and letting the fear come along for the ride”
The starting is then the hard part. Because once you are moving it is easier to ignore the fear. Here is what I have learnt about starting. I can only start once I have listed everything I am afraid of and that always ends up being a consequence. Fear is vague, but a list of possible outcomes isn’t and once I have that list, I can start to make choices. Is this a consequence I am willing to accept ? Is this even a valid, possible consequence ? Based on what ? How can I mitigate this so it doesn’t happen ?
My list for diving past 150 meters was simple. The thing I was avoiding facing and accepting was dying. The moment I voiced that I was able to really work out if dying was the price I was prepared to pay for trying. It was!
Perhaps that is what courage feels like, the relief when you see your fears listed and accept them and then get on with doing.
Either way I know this for truth. Fear is a strong teacher. It shows me where my next steps are and it pushes me into being autonomous, into owning my power.
What is your Fear showing you the way toward ?